Missing You

3 months/12 weeks/84 days/2016 hours/120960 seconds

"It's been too long and I'm lost without you"

It Feels So Good

Last night, my college/twentysomethings group had bible study. We had some great discussion about diveristy in the church vs diversity back in the Old Testament times (oh hai, Moses!). But, I'm not writing here to tell you about the study (although it was freaking great!).

It has been so long since I've felt I belonged somewhere, specifically in the church. I've been attending the church I attend now since November, and don't get me wrong, I freaking love Bayside of South Sacramento (BOSS). It's because of past experiences with my old church, that I have been struggling to allow myself to be a part of another. And last night was the first time in years I truly felt like I was a part of a (church) family again. I can't tell you how much joy that brings. So, thank you God for putting me right were you want me.

I really, really, really, really want to buy a new acoustic guitar. Yeah... I know, but hey! If I'm gonna be a rock star now I need the instrument to go with the look! HOWEVER, I can't afford one. Maybe with my tax rebate? But then when will I buy my new exhaust for my car?!

Hmm... well, I mean, it's not like my life is gonna end, right? Until then, I'll just have sweet dreams of my dream six-string....

My Favorite Things About Writing

You know, over the years I have discovered and rediscovered over and over again how writing is my outlet. And I love it. When I get writing assignments in school, (most of the time) I'm pretty excited about it. When I'm upset, joyful, or thoughful, I pick up a pen (or click on Word). So, I've been wondering though, what are my favorite things about writing? In my process, I have come up with a few things.

#1: The title.

That's right, the title. In my opinion, the title is like the eyes of the paper. You look into them and you can see one's soul, right? Same with the title. It's almost sacred to me. Sometimes, I come up with the perfect one right away before even writing anything. Then, sometimes I can't think of one until the last sentence is written. The whole process is just so exciting.

#2 Gateway to Your Brain

Aside from the title, to some people, writing can be a gateway to what's going on in their heads. The ideas people have. Like, you could read a little story about some really weird thing and in reality, the writer is trying to give you a lesson, or teach you what's important to them.

#3: It's How I Best Express Myself (most of the time...)

When my friend Anne passed, there were only a few things that got me through (and still get me through) it alive: God, my mom and friends, and writing. I had so much inside, a lot of the time I didn't even want to talk about it. So I wrote. It's my outlet. Sometimes I write to God. Sometimes I write to friends. Sometimes I just write about anything.

Last but not least: #4 Editing

Oh, I love it. One of my favorite things to do is to edit the crap out of anyone's paper, even my own. I get a fire in my eye and pick up a blood red pen and just rip it up. It's fun. Or at least I think so. So, if you ever need anything edited, give it, cuz I love it.

Really, I'm done now. Thanks for reading my blog about writing!

Monster In My Closet

Monster in my closet
Constantly, you haunt
My thoughts and my ways
When it happened so long ago
Will I ever be able to forget
How feared you?
For so long, you taught me all I knew
And for so long, your commands weighed me down
Your claws, cut so deep.

Monster in my closet,
Taunting me when I'm alone
It my weakest place,
because that is always what you did
I was your slave, bound by everything you said
How did I ever get caught up with you?
I am done with your taunting
And though you're finally gone
Memories of you still taunt me
Will it ever stop?

Monster in my closet,
We are through as of today
Your claws cut so deep
But my wounds begin to heal
Leaving me a reminder
Of who I used to be in you
It was never supposed to be this way
Life was never supposed to be full
Of all your rules

Monster in my closet,
I am leaving this behind
Still, plenty of side affects still show
For so long I trusted you
But know, that I have forgiven you
Because you have taught me the most important lesson yet
There is only one command that really matters
And that is HIS, not yours
To love and to shine in it, too.

If I Get One More...

...fortune cookie telling me, "You should enhance your feminine side at this time," I think I might just pull out my hair. Or something. I mean, come on, really. What is a girl supposed to do with this kind of "message?" Am I not feminine enough already? Is it because I am an aircraft mechanic? Is it because I work on my own car? Is it because I wear basketball shorts when I run? What is it?! Stupid fortune cookie....

Neglect

Dear Bloggy,

You know, I haven't really been writing much here for the past week. Mainly because I've been oober busy at work and also because I've had finals, which I think I survived. The weekend was fun though. I got to see both Iron Man and Prince Caspian. Both movies were freaking amazing and I would see them again if someone wanted too. And, of course, Indiana Jones comes out tomorrow, so, you know how I roll.

So, in the end, I must say, sorry bloggy, for neglecting you. I'm back. It's summer. I'm yours.

Love,
Tara